One of the questions both surrogates and Intended Parents often ask is: do Surrogates provide breast milk for surrogate babies? As both an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) and a two-time Surrogate, I’ve seen this from every angle — professionally and personally.
This guide covers feeding options, practical considerations, emotional and medical aspects, legal guidance, how Intended Parents can support their surrogate’s choices, and how surrogates can make the right choice for themselves.
Surrogates can provide breast milk depending on the arrangement, their personal choice, and the choice of the intended parents.
Colostrum: nutrient-rich early milk, often called ‘liquid gold.’
Pumped and frozen breast milk stored safely for later use.
If you as a Surrogate choose not to pump, or if distance makes it difficult, Intended Parents still have other options. Likewise, if a Surrogate wishes to pump but the Intended Parents do not want to use the milk, there are many families actively seeking breast milk. In some cases, Surrogates may already be pumping and able to provide milk, while in others, Intended Parents may prefer not to use breast milk at all. Your surrogacy agency can help guide you, and there are also social media groups and trusted communities where Surrogates and Intended Parents connect.
Personal Note: In my surrogacy journeys, I pumped for a full year for each baby, and neither required supplementation.
Surrogates may feel attachment or emotional strain when providing breast milk, and Intended Parents may feel gratitude but also anxiety about dependency. It’s also important to remember that surrogacy itself is already a significant physical and emotional journey. After going through IVF treatments, pregnancy, and delivery, some Surrogates may initially feel they want to pump or breastfeed — but later realize the toll is heavier than expected.
“Providing breast milk is always the surrogate’s choice.”
Pumping every 2–3 hours maintains supply. Milk should be stored in sterile bags or bottles and frozen if not used within four days. Fresh milk can be shipped through Milk Stork in temperature-controlled boxes, while frozen milk can be shipped overnight with gel packs or dry ice.
Pumping can affect recovery and may cause engorgement, mastitis, or fatigue. The Surrogate’s health always comes first, even if this means that the Intended Parents need to find an alternative plan for feeding their infant.
At the same time, there are also benefits to pumping and breastfeeding for the Surrogate:
Providing breast milk should always be voluntary and clearly outlined in the surrogacy contract. Agreements should specify the duration, compensation, shipping arrangements, and contingency plans if the surrogate stops pumping. Surrogates are never required to provide breast milk, and because pumping involves significant work, additional compensation is appropriate.
Agencies often support providing breast milk, while independent arrangements may require more planning. Good communication makes this smoother.
Respect her choice, offer encouragement, express gratitude if she pumps, and keep communication open. Have a backup plan if supply dips, and make sure your Surrogate knows you have a back up plan to reduce stress that could negatively impact her supply.
Transition gradually to formula or mother’s milk if applicable, introducing alternatives slowly to minimize distress.
If you choose to pump: I always encourage surrogates to begin milk removal as soon as possible after birth—even within the first hour. Even if it’s just hand expression or using a manual pump, milk production works on supply and demand: the more milk you remove, the more your body will produce.
In fact, with the doctor’s permission, some surrogates may begin pumping or hand-expressing around 37–38 weeks. By storing small amounts of milk in syringes in the freezer, Intended Parents can already have a few first feeds ready for the baby during those crucial first 24–36 hours.
This early start gives a head start on lactation and ensures the baby can receive breast milk immediately while the Surrogate begins regular pumping. For Intended Parents who want exclusive breast milk and do not wish to supplement, connecting with a milk-sharing group or another Surrogate who is already pumping can help ensure enough milk is available for the first couple of days—although in most cases, your Surrogate will produce enough. Keep in mind most hospitals will not permit outside donor milk into the hospital, some may have their own donor milk available from a milk bank and Intended Parents can inquire if it is available for full term babies or only the NICU.
It’s important to remember that colostrum is liquid gold. Even if donor milk is available, make sure the baby receives colostrum from the Surrogate, when possible, as its nutritional value is incredible. On day 1, small amounts—about 6 mL per feed—are enough for a newborn. This prevents overfeeding while ensuring the baby receives nutrient-rich first milk, whether from prenatal expression, early post-birth pumping, or donor milk.