Understanding Your LBGTQ Family Building Options

Growing up, I always wanted to be a dad but I wasn’t sure if it was something that was attainable. I wasn’t out—to myself or to the world, and marriage wasn’t legal and because of that, I didn’t imagine a future that included children who looked up to me and called me “Dad.”

But today, my husband and I are raising two daughters, ages three and five. Both of our girls were born through surrogacy and egg donation. We were fortunate to have the same incredible woman carry both of our daughters. Our family was built through love, science and the generosity of others—and it has been the greatest joy of our lives.

LGBTQ+ family building options are now available through different options. Hopefully this can help serve as a guide or map for Intended Parents that are hopeful, eager and maybe a little unsure of where to begin.

Why LGBTQ+ Family Building Matters

Thanks to evolving laws, inclusive clinics and the generosity of egg donors and surrogates, more LGBTQ+ individuals and couples are growing their families than ever before. But the process is still deeply personal and sometimes emotionally complex.

Whether you’re exploring IVF, IUI, surrogacy, egg donation or adoption, the journey begins with understanding your LGBTQ+ family building options and finding the right path for you.

Exploring LGBTQ+ Family Building Options

The most common family building options for LGBTQ+ intended parents:

• Surrogacy: This is a popular route for gay male couples or individuals, often involving an egg donor and a gestational surrogate. Surrogacy for gay parents can be an empowering, affirming process when supported by inclusive agencies like Hatch.
• IVF and IUI: Lesbian couples or individuals may use donor sperm to conceive via intrauterine insemination (IUI) or IVF. For transgender individuals, fertility preservation and hormone management are considerations as well.
• Egg Donation: LGBTQ+ families may need an egg donor, especially for surrogacy journeys. Hatch has the longest-running egg donor program in the U.S., with donors rigorously screened to ensure healthy, successful outcomes. Learn more about egg donation.
• Adoption and Co-Parenting: These are also amazing and powerful options that could possibly involve longer timelines and complex legal navigation, depending on your state and family structure, but still have the powerful end results of a child in arms.

You can dive deeper into specific pathways in our guide to family building for same-sex couples.

Finding a Surrogate Who Celebrates Your LGBTQ+ Identity

One of our greatest blessings was finding a surrogate who not only accepted but celebrated our family. We were lucky enough to work with her twice—and she became an extension of our family.

For many LGBTQ+ parents, there’s a concern: Will our surrogate truly respect our identity and journey? At Hatch, we ensure that every candidate meets our rigorous intended parent requirements, but we also prioritize emotional compatibility and shared values—because surrogacy is as much a heart-led journey as a medical one.

Navigating Legal Protections for LGBTQ+ Families

The legal landscape for LGBTQ+ family building varies widely by state. Establishing parental rights, finalizing second-parent adoptions and navigating pre-birth orders are all key steps. A good agency will walk you through these and connect you with LGBTQ-affirming legal professionals who can offer peace of mind.

Learn more about the legal and medical process in our IVF guide for a gay family.

Managing Surrogacy Costs as an LGBTQ+ Family

Let’s be real—surrogacy can be expensive. As LGBTQ+ intended parents, we had to carefully plan, save and ask a lot of questions about hidden costs. That’s why it’s crucial to work with a transparent agency that supports your journey holistically, not just financially.

Hatch offers tailored guidance for LGBTQ+ families, and with over 30 years of experience and 99%+ surrogacy success rates, we’ve seen firsthand how financial planning, grants and loans can make this path accessible.

Creating a Support System for Your Journey

Family building isn’t just about biology—it’s about community. Having a support system of inclusive fertility specialists, mental health professionals and peer networks made all the difference for us. LGBTQ+ family building can come with its own emotional challenges—from societal bias to complex family dynamics. You don’t have to face any of it alone.

Telling Your Family Story with Pride

One day, your child will ask how they came to be. That moment is one of the most sacred in any parent’s journey—and for LGBTQ+ families, it’s a beautiful opportunity to tell a story rooted in love, sacrifice and intention.

From the very beginning, we’ve shared our daughters’ surrogacy story with openness and honesty. To this day, we remain connected to our surrogate, because our family was never just “made”—it was built, together.

Final Thoughts: You Deserve This!

If there’s one thing I want you to take away, it’s this: LGBTQ+ family building is not just a dream, it’s a reality—one filled with hope, challenge, community and unconditional love. Whether you’re just starting out or already researching clinics, you deserve to feel seen, respected and supported every step of the way.

At Hatch, we don’t just create families—we honor the unique paths it takes to build them. From surrogacy to egg donation, legal guidance to emotional support, we’re here to walk with you.

Let’s build your family together! Ready to explore your LGBTQ family building options?

Start your journey with Hatch today.