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Bringing new life into this world is truly one of the most miraculous and beautiful events we can experience in this world. When it comes to becoming a surrogate, it also becomes the most selfless thing that a woman can do for another family. Even so, many people often ask “why would someone become a surrogate for someone else?”
Becoming a surrogate is a big decision. Not only does it carry the physical challenges of pregnancy, but it also bears its share of emotional and mental challenges along the way. Having the support of those closest to you is crucial to a smooth surrogacy journey.
As you go through this process, it’s important to maintain strong, open communication with those you hold dear: your spouse, your children, and those you confide in. With your inner circle backing you on your journey, it will empower you and help you further reap the rewards at the road’s end.
In this blog, we’ll cover common questions and concerns you may face when sharing your intention to become a surrogate with those you love.
Breaking the news to your spouse is often viewed as the most difficult conversation to have with someone regarding surrogacy. The fear around surrogacy for a spouse often stems from a lack of understanding or knowledge about the process.
Below are some of the more common questions or concerns that are brought up by a surrogate’s spouse.
One of the best ways to address your desire to become a surrogate with your significant other is to be open and honest with them. Make sure to address their questions wholeheartedly and truthfully.
If you don’t know the answer to a question, simply tell them and research the answer. As always, if there’s something you or your spouse are unsure of or worried about, you should always speak with a professional about the process. There’s a lot of information to absorb, and it’s important to know that you’re not alone on this journey.
Talking with children about the “birds and the bees” and that babies aren’t actually delivered by Mr. Stork is a challenge of its own. But when you’re carrying for someone else, the conversation can become even more complicated for your young ones.
Having the surrogacy talk with children isn’t often thought of right away, but it’s extremely important to have those conversations, especially with younger children at an impressionable age. Some of the more common questions we see that could come from your children include:
Getting children to understand surrogacy can be difficult, but the use of analogies often works well.
Consider the Cake Analogy. Making a baby is like baking a cake: your matched intended parents have the recipe and special ingredients needed to bake a cake. And you’re just baking the cake in the oven for them until it’s ready to come out. Sharing complex information in a fun, digestible way can be helpful for kids to better understand the situation.
While many of the above questions also apply to other family members and close friends, it’s important to note that there are other important people in your network beyond your spouse and children.
From your parents to your closest friends, the importance of having your confidants in the know is not something to shy away from. It can often be a benefit to have someone that you don’t see every day but can trust to give you a fresh perspective on your progress through your journey. Whether it be your high school best friend that you see for coffee every month or your mother, when you need someone to be there for you, it’s good to have them up to speed and on your side.
After all is said and done, your inner circle will be your saving grace when uncertainty or worries rear their head as you venture forth on your surrogacy journey. Whether it be your partner, parent, or friend, having someone there for you is essential to make this journey smoother. And always remember that the challenges are temporary, and they only get easier with your inner circle surrounding you.
Considering becoming a surrogate? Check out these 12 surrogate disqualifications you need to know about to make sure your journey will be the positive and healthy experience you deserve.