Finding a surrogate is one of the most emotional and pivotal steps on the intended parent journey.
Choosing a surrogate means choosing a partner in your dream. Whether you’re pursuing parenthood due to infertility, navigating health risks, or are part of the LGBTQ+ community, your surrogate journey matters.
In this guide, we'll demystify the process and highlight the three most common paths: working with a surrogacy agency, finding a surrogate independently, or matching with someone you know personally.
3 Ways to Find a Surrogate
When you're figuring out how to find a surrogate, one of the first decisions you'll face is how you want to go about it.
There are three main paths to parenthood through surrogacy: working with a surrogacy agency, pursuing an independent match, or partnering with someone you already know, like a friend or family member.
1. Working with a Surrogacy Agency
For most intended parents—especially those going through the process for the first time—working with a reputable surrogacy agency is the most reassuring and streamlined option.
Agencies offer end-to-end support, from matching and screening to legal, medical, and emotional guidance.
They handle the logistics, so you can focus on building your relationship with your surrogate and preparing for the journey ahead.
Agencies maintain a pool of thoroughly pre-screened candidates, and many—like Hatch—go above and beyond in ensuring that every surrogate meets strict medical, psychological, and legal criteria.
You'll be matched with your surrogate based on everything from personality and lifestyle to communication preferences and geographic proximity. Most agencies also provide dedicated case managers, so you always have someone to call when questions arise.
While working with an agency can be more expensive than going the independent route, many intended parents find the peace of mind, structure, and support well worth the cost.
At Hatch, we are one of the few agencies to offer all-inclusive pricing to cover all surrogacy expenses under one flat fee.
2. Independent Matching
Some intended parents choose to find a surrogate on their own, without going through an agency.
This route is sometimes called “private” or “independent” matching. It often happens through personal networks, online forums, Facebook groups, or word-of-mouth referrals. It can be a good option for families with previous surrogacy experience or those who already know someone interested in becoming a surrogate.
The biggest benefit of independent matching is the potential to save on fees.
But with that autonomy comes responsibility. You’ll need to coordinate the legal contracts, medical screenings, and financial arrangements on your own or hire professionals to help. Not to mention navigating the various state laws regarding surrogacy.
You'll also need to be extra diligent about screening any candidates to avoid mismatches or legal complications later. Without an agency guiding the process, it’s easy to overlook important steps or feel overwhelmed by the logistics.
3. Partnering with a Known Surrogate
Known surrogacy involves using a close friend, sister, cousin, or someone else in your circle to build your family.
There’s a certain comfort in going through this process with someone you already trust and love. You may feel more relaxed during communication.
However, it’s still essential to approach known surrogacy with the same level of care and formality as any other arrangement. Your surrogate should go through full medical and psychological screening, just like she would with an agency.
You’ll also need to draft a detailed legal contract to outline expectations, responsibilities, and compensation—yes, even if she’s doing this out of love.
Emotions can run high in any surrogacy journey, and setting clear boundaries upfront is the best way to protect your relationship in the long run.
Pros and Cons of Agency vs Independent Surrogacy
When you're planning how to find a surrogate, one of the most important decisions you’ll make is whether to work through a surrogacy agency or arrange matching independently (or with someone you know).
Let’s explore what each path offers in more depth.
Pros and Cons of Working with a Surrogacy Agency
Working with a full-service agency gives you structure, support, and clarity.
- Comprehensive vetting and matching: Agencies screen surrogates for medical history, mental health, reproductive history, and lifestyle factors to help ensure safety and strong matches. They also facilitate introductions based on personality, values, and preferences.
- Legal and logistic support: From contracts and court orders to insurance coordination and escrow services, agencies manage complex legal processes so you don’t have to.
- Single point of contact: A dedicated case manager supports you through profile reviews, medical appointments, and unexpected concerns.
- Reliable cost structure and expectations: Agency fees range between $20,000–$60,000. Get a complete overview of surrogacy expenses here.
Pricing might be an issue for some intended parents. A full-service surrogacy journey in the U.S. typically costs between $95,000 and $145,000 (not including IVF or egg donor cycles), and sometimes up to $170,000 depending on location and services.
Pros and Cons of Independent Matching
If you’re searching for how to find a surrogate independently, there are benefits around cost and control.
- Lower upfront expenditure: Independent routes can save you agency fees.
- Greater flexibility and speed: You control the criteria, communication style, or preferred timeline.
- Emotional bonding: Parents and surrogates who connect directly may build deeper trust from the start, especially if matched through personal networks.
However, there are serious risks to this process:
- Risk of unexpected costs or complications: What starts as a lower-cost option can balloon if legal files need redrafting, medical screening fails, or miscommunications occur.
- You take on coordination: You’ll need to hire an attorney, schedule and manage medical screenings, organize escrow, and oversee everything that an agency would ordinarily handle.
- Less safe vetting: Without agency-level screening infrastructure, there's increased risk of mismatches, undocumented motivations, or lack of surrogate support.
What are the Matching Criteria for Surrogates?
In surrogacy, matching criteria such as shared values, lifestyle compatibility, and mutual expectations foster strong relationships and minimize potential conflicts.
At Hatch, we prioritize the following criteria to ensure the best possible matches.
Social Fit
This comprises two criteria: compatible personalities and compatible desires for your journey. Our matching team reviews the potential match to ensure good personality fits and aligned communication preferences. Our goal is to ensure that both parties have a reciprocal relationship throughout the journey.
Medical Fit
Your IVF physician will review the surrogate’s previous OBGYN and delivery records. After the match is confirmed, your surrogate will also go through a comprehensive in-person medical screening.
Legal Fit
In the United States, each state has its own laws regarding surrogacy. Some states are more compatible than others for a specific match, and Hatch only works with surrogates located in surrogacy-friendly states.
Additionally, each country we assist has different requirements and laws regarding surrogacy. Therefore, our legal team ensures that the laws of the surrogate’s home state (where the delivery will take place) complement the laws of the intended parents' home state/country. We will make sure that every match is a safe, legal fit.
Financial Fit
We take on the role of being the middle-person between intended parents and surrogates to create peace of mind when it comes to everything, including money. We ensure your surrogate has a clear understanding of payments, so all you have to focus on is a healthy and loving pregnancy.
Find the Best Surrogate for You
Choosing Hatch for your surrogacy journey means partnering with an agency that values empathy, expertise, and efficiency. With our streamlined matching process and dedicated team, we ensure that intended parents are paired with the perfect surrogate in record time.
Our comprehensive support system, pre-vetted surrogates, and personalized approach help create a seamless experience. Don't just take our word for it; our success rates speak for themselves.
We offer an all-inclusive journey, with surrogacy financing support available. Trust in Hatch to guide you through every step, bringing you closer to making your dreams of parenthood a reality.
