Pros and Cons of Surrogacy: A Guide for Parents and Surrogates

Deciding whether to pursue surrogacy is one of the most profound choices you can face in your family-building journey. Whether you’re a hopeful parent exploring your options or a woman considering becoming a surrogate, you need to understand the pros and cons of surrogacy.

Surrogacy offers a pathway to parenthood when pregnancy isn’t possible, and it presents an opportunity to make a life-changing gift. Yet, it also brings with it legal, emotional, medical, and financial complexities that deserve full attention.

At Hatch Fertility, we believe in clear guidance. Because when you’re choosing to become a parent or carry a child for someone else, you deserve to move forward from a place of knowledge and confidence. 

In this guide, we’ll walk you through what surrogacy involves, explore benefits and risks for both intended parents and surrogates, and help you ask the right questions so you can decide whether this is the right path for you.

What Is Surrogacy?

Surrogacy is an arrangement where one woman carries and delivers a baby for another person or couple (known as the intended parents) who will become the child’s legal parents after birth.

It’s a deeply collaborative process that involves medical treatment, legal agreements, and ongoing communication to ensure that everyone’s rights and expectations are protected.

There are two main types of surrogacy. 

In gestational surrogacy, which is the most common today, the surrogate—also called a gestational carrier—has no genetic link to the baby. Instead, an embryo created through IVF using the intended parents’ or donors’ eggs and sperm is transferred to her uterus. 

In traditional surrogacy, which is far less common, the surrogate’s own egg is used, making her both the genetic and gestational mother of the child.

Some journeys also involve an egg or sperm donor if the intended parents cannot use their own genetic material. A surrogacy agency coordinates matching, logistics, and support, while fertility clinics handle the medical procedures. Separate legal professionals represent each party to draft and finalize contracts that establish parentage, responsibilities, and protections.

Why Consider Surrogacy?

For intended parents, surrogacy offers a path to parenthood when pregnancy isn’t possible or medically safe. It allows those facing infertility, same-sex couples, or single parents by choice to build a family that is often genetically connected to them. 

Many also value the deeper involvement they can have throughout the process, from choosing their surrogate to witnessing milestones like the embryo transfer or ultrasound.

For surrogates, the decision often comes from a place of empathy and purpose. Many women who choose to become surrogates describe it as one of the most rewarding experiences of their lives; an opportunity to help another family experience the joy of having a child while receiving fair compensation and strong emotional support. 

Surrogacy can also be a way for women who enjoyed their previous pregnancies to experience it again, this time with a powerful sense of meaning and community.

At its heart, surrogacy is about shared hope and trust. 

For some, it’s the final step in a long fertility journey; for others, it’s a calling to make a profound difference in someone else’s life. In either case, it’s a decision that deserves careful thought and a clear understanding of what lies ahead.

Pros and Cons of Surrogacy for Intended Parents

For intended parents, surrogacy opens the door to parenthood in ways that may not otherwise be possible. But it also requires a significant emotional, financial, and logistical commitment. Here’s what to consider before taking the next step.

Pros:

• Biological connection: Gestational surrogacy allows one or both intended parents to have a genetic link to their child, which isn’t possible with adoption.
  
  
• Safe alternative to pregnancy: For those who cannot carry a pregnancy due to medical reasons, surrogacy makes it possible to have a child without the associated health risks.
  
  
• Active participation: Intended parents can be involved throughout the process, from embryo creation to doctor appointments.
  
  
• Legal clarity in many regions: When guided by experienced professionals, the surrogacy process includes legal contracts that establish parentage before the birth, offering peace of mind.
  
  
• Predictable structure: Working through an established agency provides transparency, timelines, and support systems that help families navigate the process confidently.

Cons:

• High cost: In the U.S., surrogacy costs can range from $120,000 to $200,000, depending on factors like location, insurance, and medical needs.
  
  
• Legal complexity: Laws differ between states and countries. Some fully permit surrogacy, others restrict or prohibit it. Expert legal counsel is non-negotiable.
  
  
• Emotional vulnerability: Trusting someone else to carry your child can feel overwhelming, especially after past fertility struggles. Ongoing counseling can help manage these emotions.
  
  
• Time and patience: Finding the right surrogate, completing screening, and waiting through pregnancy can take over a year. Families should prepare for a long-term commitment.
  
  
• Limited control: Even with open communication, intended parents must accept that pregnancy outcomes are not fully within their hands.

Pros and Cons of Surrogacy for Surrogates

Becoming a surrogate is a remarkable act of generosity. It’s also a major physical and emotional commitment that requires careful thought, open communication, and strong support. Understanding both the rewards and challenges helps women make an informed choice.

Pros:

• Helping another family grow: Surrogates often describe the experience as profoundly fulfilling, knowing they’ve given someone the chance to become a parent when it might not have been possible otherwise.
  
  
• A renewed sense of purpose: Many women who enjoyed pregnancy find surrogacy meaningful because it lets them experience it again, this time in service of another family’s dream.
  
  
• Fair and transparent compensation: Surrogates receive financial compensation for their time, effort, and participation in the medical process. For some, it provides an opportunity to reach personal or family goals, such as paying off debt or saving for the future.
  
  
• Strong community and professional support: Working with a reputable agency means having access to medical care, counseling, legal representation, and a built-in network of women who have shared the same journey.
  
  
• Comprehensive legal protection: Surrogacy contracts clearly outline each party’s rights and responsibilities, helping ensure that everyone is respected throughout the process.

Cons:

• Physical demands of pregnancy: Even in uncomplicated pregnancies, surrogacy involves fertility treatments, IVF medications, and recovery, all of which take a toll on the body.
  
  
• Emotional complexity: Carrying a baby for another family can bring unexpected emotions, especially during milestones like ultrasounds or birth.
  
  
• Time commitment: The process, from initial screening to postpartum recovery, can take a year or more. It requires flexibility and support from the surrogate’s own family and employer.
  
  
• Lifestyle adjustments: Surrogates must follow medical guidance closely, attend frequent appointments, and sometimes travel for procedures or deliveries.
  
  
• Social misunderstandings: While perceptions of surrogacy are evolving, not everyone may understand or support the decision. Preparing for questions or judgments can help manage that stress.

Legal Considerations

The legal landscape of surrogacy is complex, depending on where the surrogacy takes place.

In the U.S., surrogacy laws vary from state to state. Some states (like California) fully support and regulate gestational surrogacy, offering clear legal pathways for establishing parentage before birth. Others have restrictive or ambiguous laws that make the process more complicated or prohibit it altogether. Nebraska, for example, does not legally recognize paid surrogacy contracts.

For surrogates, legal safeguards are just as essential. Every reputable agency ensures that surrogates have independent legal representation throughout the process. These contracts clarify expectations around compensation, medical decisions, and parental rights.

Ethically, surrogacy invites important questions about autonomy, consent, and fairness. Advocates stress that ethical surrogacy depends on informed decision-making, fair compensation, and strong emotional and medical support for the surrogate. When these standards are upheld, surrogacy becomes a partnership built on respect rather than risk.

Working with an experienced agency like Hatch ensures that every agreement, procedure, and safeguard is handled with care, so both intended parents and surrogates can move forward with confidence and peace of mind.

How to Know If Surrogacy Is Right for You?

For intended parents, the right time to pursue surrogacy often comes when other fertility options have been exhausted or when pregnancy would pose a health risk. It also depends on financial preparedness and being able to trust another person with something so personal, as surrogacy requires a long-term commitment. 

Ask yourself:

• Am I emotionally ready to share this journey with someone else?
  
  
• Do I have the financial and logistical resources to see it through?
  
  
• Am I comfortable navigating legal processes and potential waiting periods?
  
  
• Do I have a support network to lean on throughout the process?

For surrogates, self-reflection is equally important. A successful surrogacy experience begins with clear motivation and strong family support. Consider:

• Do I genuinely enjoy pregnancy and feel emotionally ready to carry for another family?
  
  
• Is my partner or family supportive of this decision?
  
  
• Can I commit the necessary time for appointments, treatments, and recovery?
  
  
• Do I fully understand the medical, emotional, and legal steps involved?

Ready to Take the Next Step in Your Surrogacy Journey?

Every surrogacy story begins with a single decision: the choice to explore what’s possible. Whether you’re a hopeful parent dreaming of holding your baby for the first time or a compassionate woman considering becoming a surrogate, you don’t have to navigate the process alone.

At Hatch Fertility, we’ve supported families and surrogates for more than 30 years with transparent guidance, proven expertise, and genuine care. From matching and medical coordination to legal support and emotional counseling, our team walks beside you at every stage, so your journey feels informed, supported, and deeply human.

If you’re ready to learn more or simply have questions about what surrogacy might look like for you, we’d love to talk.

Contact the Hatch team today to start your conversation in confidence and take the first step toward your surrogacy journey.