8 Tips for First-Time Surrogates

Becoming a Surrogate is one of the most meaningful gifts you can give. It’s a selfless, life changing journey filled with emotion, purpose, and joy. But if you’re a first-time Surrogate, it’s natural to have questions about what the process really looks like, how to prepare, and what to expect along the way.

Whether you’re just starting to research surrogacy or you’re ready to take the next step, here’s a comprehensive guide to help you navigate your first surrogacy journey with confidence and support.

A Step-By-Step Breakdown of the Surrogacy Journey

If you’re becoming a Surrogate for the first time, understanding the full journey can help you feel grounded, confident, and prepared. While every path is unique, most surrogacy journeys follow the same general steps designed to support your health, protect your rights, and ensure a positive experience for everyone involved.

Here’s a simple breakdown of what your journey typically looks like:

1. Initial Application and Pre-Screening

You’ll start by completing an application to confirm you meet the basic health and lifestyle guidelines. This ensures you’re a good fit and sets the stage for a safe, successful journey.

2. Medical and Psychological Screening

Next comes a deeper look at your health, medical history, and readiness for surrogacy. These screenings are standard and check whether you’re physically and emotionally supported.

3. Matching with Intended Parents

Once approved, you’ll be introduced to Intended Parents who align with your values and preferences. This step is exciting, and many Surrogates describe it as the moment everything “clicks.”

4. Legal Contracts and Protection

Both you and the Intended Parents work with your own independent attorneys to draft a clear contract. This document outlines expectations, responsibilities, and boundaries.

5. IVF Medications and Monitoring

You’ll begin a short course of medication to prepare your body for embryo transfer. The clinic will guide you through each step, with regular check-ins to ensure everything is progressing smoothly.

6. Embryo Transfer

A fertility specialist transfers the embryo into your uterus during a simple, painless procedure. After this, you’ll rest and follow the clinic’s instructions during the two-week wait before your pregnancy test.

7. Pregnancy and Regular Check-Ins

Once pregnancy is confirmed, your journey continues much like any other pregnancy, with added support from Hatch, your care team, and the Intended Parents. You’ll attend appointments, share updates, and take good care of yourself.

8. Delivery and Meeting the Parents

The moment everyone has been working toward: delivery day. You’ll help bring a baby into the world and witness a life-changing moment for the Intended Parents, one that many Surrogates say they’ll cherish forever.

9. Post-Delivery Recovery and Support

Your journey doesn’t end at birth. Hatch ensures you have the postpartum care, emotional support, and guidance you need as you transition back to normal life and reflect on the incredible gift you’ve given.

8 Tips for First-Time Surrogates

If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate, these tips will help you be more prepared for the journey:

1. Make Sure You Meet the Surrogacy Requirements

To qualify as a first-time Surrogate, you should typically:

• Be 21–42 years old
  
  
• Have a healthy BMI (20–32)
  
  
• Have had at least one full-term, uncomplicated pregnancy
  
  
• Have had no more than six total pregnancies
  
  
• Have had three or fewer C-sections
  
  
• Be at least 9 months postpartum (or 12 months after a C-section)
  
  
• Not currently breastfeed
  
  
• Have no tobacco or cannabis use (ideally tobacco-free for 12+ months)
  
  
• Have a stable lifestyle that supports a healthy pregnancy
  
  
• Have no history of significant pregnancy complications
  
  
• Be willing to undergo medical and psychological screenings

Learn more about Hatch’s surrogacy requirements and compensation.

2. Choose a Surrogacy Agency That Truly Cares

Not all agencies are the same, and your experience as a first-time Surrogate is shaped largely by the support you receive. Choosing an agency that genuinely prioritizes your wellbeing can make a huge difference.

With over 34 years of experience, Hatch has helped thousands of families grow. We’re proud members of SEEDS (Society for Ethical Egg Donation & Surrogacy), our President has spoken at influential conferences like MHB (Men Having Babies), and we are steered by ASRM guidelines (American Society of Reproductive Medicine).

Aligning with these organizations is one way we show our commitment to ethical, inclusive, and supportive surrogacy practices. Partnering with an agency that truly cares ensures you can focus on the journey itself and the incredible gift you’re giving.

3. Keep Communication Honest and Open

Open communication builds trust, and trust is essential for a smooth, positive surrogacy journey. Being honest about your feelings whether physical, emotional, or practical. 

Tips for strong communication:

• Share updates with your case manager and Intended Parents regularly.
• Don’t be afraid to express concerns or uncertainties.
• Discuss boundaries and expectations early to avoid misunderstandings.

4. Take Care of Yourself

Self-care isn’t just important, it’s essential. Being a Surrogate involves both physical and emotional demands, and caring for yourself ensures a healthier, happier journey for everyone.

Daily tips for first-time Surrogates:

• Eat balanced, nutritious meals and stay hydrated.
• Engage in safe, gentle exercise like walking, prenatal yoga, or swimming with your doctor’s clearance.
• Get plenty of rest whenever possible.
• Document your journey through journaling, photos, or a pregnancy diary. It can be a meaningful way to reflect on your experience.
• Take time for activities that bring joy and relaxation.
• Enjoy that mid day nap!

What are some healthy foods to enjoy?

• Dairy Products: Milk, cheese, and yogurt are excellent sources of calcium, protein, and probiotics
• Legumes: Lentils, beans, peas, and chickpeas provide protein, fiber, iron, and folate
• Sweet Potatoes: Rich in beta-carotene, which your body converts to vitamin A, essential for fetal development
• Salmon: A great source of omega-3 fatty acids, which are important for brain development
• Eggs: Packed with protein and choline, which is vital for brain development
• Leafy Greens: Spinach, kale, and broccoli are high in vitamins A, C, and K, as well as folate
• Berries: Blueberries, strawberries, and raspberries are rich in antioxidants, vitamins, and fiber
• Whole Grains: Brown rice, oats, and whole wheat bread provide fiber, B vitamins, and magnesium
• Avocados: High in healthy fats, folate, and potassium
• Nuts and Seeds: Walnuts, almonds, and chia seeds offer healthy fats, protein, and fiber

At Hatch, we remind our Surrogates that their own well-being matters just as much as the pregnancy itself. A supported, rested Surrogate can have the healthiest, happiest journey possible which is the best outcome for everyone involved.

5. Lean Into the Joy

There’s nothing quite like seeing the Intended Parents meet their baby for the first time. It’s a moment you help create one that is emotional, powerful, and unforgettable.

The joy of helping someone build their family is often cited by first-time Surrogates as one of the most rewarding experiences of their lives.

6. Surround Yourself with Support

Having a strong support system is crucial. Whether it’s family, friends, or other Surrogates, having people who understand your experience can help you navigate the challenges and celebrate the victories.

At Hatch, we connect Surrogates with an incredible community of women who’ve walked this path before. You’ll always have someone to lean on for guidance, reassurance, or simply a listening ear.

7. Get Legal and Financial Clarity

Understanding the legal and financial aspects of surrogacy is essential for first-time Surrogates. Hatch ensures that you are fully informed about contracts, compensation, and what to expect throughout your journey.

Key points to know:

• Compensation packages vary by location and experience level, with first-time Surrogates receiving $50,000 in base compensation, $15,000 in allowances and total packages averaging $65,000–$70,000.
• Contracts clearly outline responsibilities, boundaries, and expectations.
• The contract protects both the Surrogate and the Intended Parent.
• Surrogates and Intended Parents both have their own expert, independent legal council for the contract and parentage process.

8. Understand How the Matching Process Works

For many first-time Surrogates, the matching process is one of the most exciting parts of the journey. It’s the moment when everything starts to feel real, and when you meet the Intended Parents whose lives you’ll help change. 

At Hatch, we approach matching with care, intention, and respect for your values, personality, and comfort level.

This is how matching works:

Understanding your preferences

Before matching begins, you’ll share your preferences, values, communication style, and what you’re looking for in the surrogacy relationship.

Introducing you to compatible intended parents

Your team presents profiles of Intended Parents who align with your preferences. You’ll learn about their story, communication expectations, lifestyle, and what brought them to surrogacy.

The match meeting

If you feel good about a family’s profile and they feel the same, you’ll meet through a virtual or in-person call.

Confirming the match

If everyone agrees to move forward, the match becomes official, and you’ll begin the legal and medical steps of the journey. From here forward, your communication grows into a natural rhythm that works for both sides.

Common Questions from First-Time Surrogates

Will I have contact with the baby after birth?

That depends on the agreement you and the Intended Parents make. Some Surrogates stay in touch, while others prefer privacy—it’s entirely up to your comfort level.

Can I choose which Intended Parents I work with?

Yes. Hatch matches Surrogates and Intended Parents based on compatibility, shared values, and personal preferences.

What are the health requirements to become a Surrogate?

Surrogates should have a healthy BMI, a history of uncomplicated pregnancies, no current tobacco or cannabis use, and a stable lifestyle that supports a healthy pregnancy.

How do I talk to my family about becoming a Surrogate?

Be honest and clear about your reasons, the process, and the support you will have. Providing resources and answering questions helps family members feel comfortable and included.

Ready to Start Your Journey?

Becoming a Surrogate is more than carrying a pregnancy—it’s helping create a family and being part of something truly extraordinary. If your heart is ready to say yes, Hatch is here to guide you every step of the way.

Hatch is a program by Surrogates for Surrogates. You can read more about our promise to our Surrogates, and submit an application to get started. We look forward to getting to know you, your family, and your “why” for becoming a Surrogate.