How to Find a Surrogate Mother: Top 5 Tips to Know

Finding a surrogate—the woman who will carry your child and help build the family you’ve been dreaming of—can feel overwhelming at first. 

It’s a deeply personal process, and you need to know how to find a surrogate mother who aligns with your values and expectations.

Every surrogate is unique. Each one will have her own emotional needs, logistical preferences, and vision for the journey. The key is finding the right match so the process is successful and meaningful.

By the end of reading this article, you’ll learn the top 5 ways to find a surrogate and get additional surrogacy tips

5 Ways to Find a Surrogate Mother

When finding a surrogate, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. But there are several reliable paths to explore:

1. Ask For Referrals

If you know anyone who has gone through the IVF process with a surrogate, ask them for recommendations. If they had a positive experience, you may  too by using the same team they did.

Ask your friends about what they liked and did not like about their surrogacy process. Get the details about what they think would make for a smooth journey with a surrogate.

2. Go To a Surrogacy Agency

Working with a surrogacy agency is one of the most trusted and effective ways to begin your journey to parenthood.

Agencies offer professional guidance and comprehensive support, from finding a qualified surrogate to navigating legal, medical, and emotional milestones. 

For many intended parents, this structure removes uncertainty and provides peace of mind throughout the process.

Hatch Fertility is a surrogacy agency with over three decades of experience. Our surrogates are carefully screened, and we make matches based on compatibility, communication styles, and shared values. With Hatch, intended parents are supported every step of the way, which creates a thoughtful and compassionate experience.

3. Use a Surrogacy Clinic

Another trusted route for finding a surrogate is through a fertility or surrogacy clinic. These clinics often have in-house programs or close partnerships with agencies. 

In addition to medical services like IVF and embryo transfer, many clinics offer surrogate matching and coordination, streamlining the entire process under one roof.

Clinics bring a high level of medical oversight and often work with thoroughly screened surrogates. Some clinics also provide counseling and legal support or refer you to trusted professionals.

If you’re already working with a fertility clinic for treatment, ask if they offer surrogacy services or can connect you with trusted partners.

4. Online Groups

Online communities can be a powerful resource when looking for a surrogate mother. Social media platforms, forums, and dedicated surrogacy support groups connect intended parents with surrogates and experienced parents. These spaces offer real stories and honest advice that can be hard to find elsewhere.

Many intended parents find their surrogate through Facebook groups or online forums where both surrogates and hopeful parents gather to share their journeys. 

While this route requires more personal research and effort—such as vetting potential surrogates, handling legal arrangements, and managing logistics—it can also lead to direct connections.

If you choose to explore online groups, approach the process with care. Look for reputable communities and consult a lawyer or agency once you’ve made a connection. 

5. Find a Surrogacy Attorney

Connecting with a surrogacy attorney is an essential step in your journey. While lawyers are primarily known for handling contracts and legal protections, many also have networks of trusted surrogates, agencies, and clinics. 

In some cases, an attorney may even be able to help you match with a surrogate directly.

An experienced surrogacy attorney will make sure everyone is legally protected and that all agreements are clearly outlined and enforceable. They’ll also guide you through the legal process based on your state’s laws, which can vary widely and impact everything from parental rights to birth certificate filings.

What Are the Requirements For a Surrogate Mother?

Surrogates must meet specific health, lifestyle, and emotional criteria. Otherwise, they get disqualified. While exact requirements can vary by agency or clinic, most follow these common standards:

• Age: Typically between 21 and 42 years old
• Previous pregnancy: Must have had at least one full-term, uncomplicated pregnancy and delivery
• Health: In good physical health with a healthy BMI (usually between 19–32)
• Non-smoker: Must not use tobacco, drugs, or abuse alcohol
• Stable lifestyle: Financially stable and living in a supportive environment
• U.S. citizenship or legal residency: Must legally reside in the United States
• Psychological readiness: Must pass a mental health screening and be emotionally prepared for the process
• No criminal history: Must pass a background check
• Willingness to commit: Ready to follow medical guidance and attend appointments throughout the journey

Do Your Research

Not all surrogacy programs are the same. When it comes to how to find a surrogate mother, you also need to do some research. Read all the reviews you can about an agency or program before you sign any contracts.

There are many programs to choose from online, but if you want to find a surrogate that is tested, tried, and true-then stick to the programs with great reputations and a big selection of experienced surrogates.

Also, make sure you’ve considered the best IVF clinics to schedule a consult for your chosen surrogate.

Follow Your Heart

There are aspects of this process that are bigger than all of us. We truly believe that you will find the surrogate of your dreams that you were meant to be matched with. Many surrogates remain part of the intended parent’s lives for years to come.

If you have a good feeling or inkling about a certain surrogate or program, then move swiftly in that direction. Having a child through IVF doesn’t have to be completely clinical, you can extend your wings of love and include family, friends, and your surrogate in this process.

Leave the Rest to The Best

When you want to find a surrogate that you can love and trust, use only the best. Here at Hatch Fertility, we can tailor the journey to your needs. Our surrogates are rigorously screened. They are altruistic women who want to help others build a family.

Contact us today to set up a consultation and get started on your journey.